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Some common BDSM "type s

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Some common "S types" in BDSM

In BDSM relationships, the Dominant (or top) person is the one who assumes power, authority or control. This authority is, of course, always subject to the explicit consent of all parties concerned. This exchange of power can last from a few minutes to a lifetime, depending on the participants. 

The other person is not necessarily submissive, but we call them "type s" or bottom. This includes slaves, fetishists, masochists, sissies, transvestites, brats, pets, littles, kajirus, toys and many others. There's sometimes an overlap between them, which I'll explain later, but let me start by giving you a quick definition of the most common bottoms. 

Submissives

A person is submissive when he or she agrees to cede power to another. This loss of control can take place in the context of a scene or a relationship. It can range from simply letting the Dominant person choose what clothes to wear, to complete control over all aspects of one's life, including but not limited to food, physical activity or finances. Again, this must always be explicitly agreed! The Dominant person is thus seen as a kind of coach, helping the submissive to achieve jointly-determined goals. These goals are not limited to becoming a more submissive person. For example, if a submissive wants to tone up his body, I can suggest physical exercise routines. If he completes the tasks, he's rewarded, which can be as simple as a "well done", but if he doesn't there are consequences for his actions. Contrary to what you might think, not all submissives are masochists. Some enjoy serving and are content to clean their lady's home. Others prefer to contribute to their Dominatrix's financial well-being.

The slaves

Generally speaking, a slave is a submissive person who has ceded all rights to negotiate with the Dominant person. This is known as consensual non-consent. A slave makes the initial decision to serve his or her Master or Mistress and then completely relinquishes all control. This often means there's no safe word to stop a scene, and no negotiation possible when the Dominant person decides on anything, inside or outside the dungeon. Where a submissive has rights in a D/s relationship, a slave generally does not. He or she essentially becomes the property of his or her Master or Mistress, who can dispose of the slave as he or she sees fit. Please note that this is both extreme and rare, even in long-established BDSM relationships. Before becoming a slave, a submissive will have to serve for a long time in order to demonstrate sufficient mental stability to be able to relinquish his or her own control.

Fetishists

Fetishists are fixated on an object. Without necessarily being submissive, the object of their adoration is vital to their sexual satisfaction. Some people think that fetishists don't fall on the D/s spectrum, but there are plenty of fetishists who find what they're looking for in BDSM. We often think of foot or shoe fetishists, they are indeed common, but there are many others. It could be a fetish for scarves, certain types of material (leather, vinyl, latex or others), freshly varnished nails, dirty socks, redheads... For example, I have a fetishist in my flock whom I laughingly say only exists in his eyes below my knees (he has a fetish for latex and feet). He's not submissive at all, but he needs to touch my latex-covered feet to be sexually satisfied.

Masochists

Masochists are those who seek pleasure through pain. When you think of the stereotypical scene of a leather-clad woman whipping her partner, that guy is probably a masochist. Many of the masochists I know are not submissive, despite their need to be humiliated or degraded, physically or mentally during sessions. Masochism can also be self-inflicted, which validates that they're not necessarily submissive.

Sissies and transvestites 

Sissies and transvestites are men who wear women's clothes and make-up and adopt feminine behavior. Generally speaking, a sissy is "forced" by his Dominatrix to dress as a woman, while a transvestite does so of his own accord. While they may or may not want to live their lives as women, there are various causes that can push towards this practice. Some may be attracted by the aesthetics of dressing in more feminine clothes. Others find it humiliating. I refuse to take part in cross-dressing sessions based on humiliation because I see nothing humiliating in being a woman. For others, it's an opportunity to break down stereotypes about masculinity and femininity. Others aspire to create a more feminine relationship with their Dominatrix, because, generally speaking, two women interact differently from a woman with a man.

There can be a lot of fluidity between these different roles. A slave can be a fetishist without being a masochist (let's hope his Dominatrix isn't a sadist!). A transvestite is not necessarily submissive, but may enjoy wearing the beautiful clothes that only women can wear. A Dominatrix may be masochistic. As with all BDSM practices, there are no rules except that they must take place between two consenting adults. One day someone may identify themselves as a submissive, the next day as a fetishist, and the next wearing a beautiful dress and high heels. Humans are constantly evolving, whether in the context of BDSM or not. If you're navigating between these different roles, no problem. Stay safe and stay kinky!

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