Limits in BDSM sessions
No-holds-barred" submissives at BDSM sessions
Of course, I'm talking about those who contact Professional Dominatrixes for BDSM sessions. While this information is also relevant to those in ongoing relationships, it applies primarily to customers who contact me for a session.
Often, when I receive applications, the person declares that he or she has "no limits". I find this disturbing for several reasons. For a start, everyone has limits. Secondly, I don't want to play with someone who isn't willing to do their own research into what those limits might be. Thirdly, I have absolutely NO interest in playing with a dead fish...
I've been involved in the BDSM scene for a decade, and even longer if you consider that I was already doing BDSM long before I was familiar with the lingo. I've always had limits, and I still do. They're always changing, like my favorite practicesBut even a pervert like me has things that are either not interesting or that completely block me.
Each of us has things in our private lives that are taboo, so why do so many submissives say they don't? Often when I get an email saying I can do whatever I want with a submissive, I immediately respond with the raunchiest thing I can think of. I'll spare my dear readers the details of some of my usual responses, but (no surprises) even "no-limits" submissives quickly reply, "Well; no, not that of course!"
If you don't take the time to inquire before sending me an application to serve me, I certainly won't waste my precious time with you. As my loyal subjects know, I have a dating protocol that is a bit stricter than many mistresses; one that not only requires you to send me a completed questionnaire and pay a deposit, but also to meet me for a drink before I decide if it can work. If you haven't even read my site to see what my limits are, I will systematically refuse your application because I simply don't have time for someone who wants a fast-food version of BDSM. That's just not my style.
When someone tells me I can do whatever I want with them, it's actually more of a burden. I'd much rather hear about something you'd like to explore, and create a scenario based on your preferences, so that the 2 of us can have a good session. As I've said many times, I'm looking for submissives motivated and motivating.
You have a role to play in our interaction. As I lead the session, knowing what turns you on inspires me to create this or that scenario. I'm not talking abouttopping from the bottomIt's not about being a "submissive" (when a submissive is trying to run the session), which I'll cover in another blog post, but about being an active partner in our exchange. Believe it or not, it's no fun for me if I don't think you're getting some pleasure out of this. If you don't give me your limits, you may find yourself in a situation that at best won't be pleasant.
Moral of the story: Take your time to define your limits before starting a BDSM session, either with me or with someone else. You may have very little, but trust me, you do.
