Playing BDSM games safely

Safety in BDSM games: SSC, RACK

If you've been around the BDSM scene for a while, you've probably heard of SSC and RACK. What are the differences? And what about lesser-known acronyms like PRICK or CCC? What are the nuances between them, and what might your expectations be when establishing a relationship with a Mistress or other play partner?

It's a subject full of nuances, and without going into too much detail I'd like to offer you an introduction. If you want to go further, the resources available online or in print are endless.

The four most commonly used acronyms when discussing the safety of BDSM games are:

SSC (Safe, sane, and consensual) : safe, sane, consensual 

RACK (Risk-aware consensual kink) : kink with risk awareness and consent

PRICK (Personal responsibility informed consensual kink) : kink personally responsible, informed and consenting.

CCC (Committed, compassionate, consensual): committed, compassionate, consensual

The concept that appears in these four acronyms is that of the consentThis is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, BDSM or otherwise. The Petit Robert defines it as acquiescence to a project; the decision not to oppose it.

In the BDSM context, it's the decision of two people who agree to participate in certain acts, whether of a sexual nature or not. If the two people don't agree, it's no longer a consensual choice but an abuse. This is one of the many reasons why some Mistresses require long questionnaires specifying hard limits (hard limits) or flexible (soft limits) before playing any games: we don't want to do any lasting damage to your mental health.

It's worth mentioning at this point that there are also legal aspects to consider, even in the presence of the subject's explicit consent.

Now for the nuances between the different acronyms:

SSC :

This term was introduced in 1983 by David Stein who wanted to distinguish "the kind of SM I wanted to practice from the abusive criminal behavior or self-destructive neuroses popularly associated with the term sadomasochism". 

Let's face it: BDSM is inherently dangerous. Even so-called soft can cause permanent damage when done incorrectly. Not to mention that what one person considers safe, another might find completely insane.

Take scuba diving, for example. There's no reason why I should hang on to my tanks and dive dozens of meters underwater, surrounded by strange creatures that could devour me. It just doesn't seem sure (and no, you won't convince me). But for others, this is how they spend their weekends. There is no definition of "safe" that suits everyone on Earth. 

Sanity is also subjective, which is one of the reasons why I lean more towards RACK or PRICK. For example, I have a submissive who, when under stress (which happens by construction in a BDSM scene), has difficulty expressing himself verbally. He's "sane", but I need to be particularly attentive when I play with him, and I have to follow his vital and non-verbal signs to avoid sensory overload.

Many of us suffer from depression, anxiety or other disorders that might be considered mental disorders, yet the people who suffer from them have otherwise pretty normal lives. If I excluded anyone who'd had a burnout or depression, I'd never play again! 

On the other hand, if we think some games are unsafe, what does that say about the people who play them? For the average person, no kinkythe simple practice of attaching a collar to a submissive can seem completely insane. I'd love to see their faces when I tell them about my typical Friday night!

Basically, I find SSC too subjective to describe my conception of BDSM.

RACK :

RACK was invented in 1999 by Guy Switch, who compared mountaineering to BDSM. For both activities, risk is a large part of the appeal, but there's still plenty of scope for minimize hazards with the right training, equipment and techniques. Awareness and education are key RACK concepts, and all participants must be able to base their decisions on the information they have received about a practice.

So my partner can accept a whip because I'm (probably) not going to damage his little bottom, even though a coachman's whip would be unthinkable because it would lacerate his skin. With the RACK, the submissive is expected to be well aware of this before consenting to a scene.

PRICK:

It's a fairly recent acronym within the BDSM scene, becoming popular in 2009, but one that I appreciate because it highlights the personal responsibility (and not simply awareness of the dangers) of all participants. Everyone has the right to accept or reject a practice, and must live with the consequences of their decisions.

As a Professional Dominatrix, I tend to lean towards this concept, especially for submissives who wish to have a more "hands-on" experience. hard. As much as it's my personal responsibility to educate and train myself, my submissives also have their part to play. So I can't be responsible if someone doesn't communicate their needs.

One criticism of PRICK is that we you can never be perfectly prepared for a practice you've never tried before. Indeed, even in the presence of a Dominatrix who has mastered a practice, your body and mind may not be up to the experience in real life. 

CCC :

"Committed, compassionate, consensual" is another acronym gaining popularity in some circles. CCC is mainly concerned with TPE (Total Power Exchange, full exchange of power) or 24/7 relationships, but not usually with professional dominatrixes or play partners. With CCC, the submissive doesn't express his desires explicitly, only his hard limits. The Dominant partner decides everything (when, where, who, how, with whom...).

Quite often safe words (a word we used to use to get out of a game) are not part of CCC agreements, even if discussions are held to ensure that practices remain consensual. While many may be tempted to enter into CCC relationship agreements, often the submissive then becomes aware that there are many associated risks, including physically lethal or emotionally destructive.

As I mentioned earlier, consent is the backbone of all these acronyms. If you haven't consented to what your partner is doing to you, it's abusive. Despite appearances, for those not involved in the BDSM world, Dominatrices are generally caring and attentive people who want above all to establish a safe framework within which the magical possibilities of power exchange can be freely explored.

In BDSM, we flirt with danger (and it feels so good!) but we can prepare ourselves mentally and physically to avoid the risks. I invite you to read more on the subject and find out what works for you. Take elements from these philosophies. They all have their strengths and weaknesses, it's up to you to decide what's best for your situation. Most importantly, talk to your partner! Communication within relationships, whether with a professional Dominatrix or not, remains the key to beautiful, enriching experiences.

*I use the term "submissive" frequently; I could just as easily have replaced it with fetishist, dominated, client or other.