Rituals in BDSM

During a distance learning course, I asked submissives to write about rituals in BDSM. I posed a few questions to consider: Why do we attach so much importance to this in BDSM? What's in it for submissives? What are the benefits?

This is the work of smoums. Thanks to Mistress Lisa for training him so well. You can follow both on Twitter.

Rituals in BDSM

smoums

Before we can answer these questions, we need to define what we mean by ritual.

I would define Ritual as a codified practice of a symbolic or sacred nature. It aims to recreate an environment outside space and time, enabling participants to rediscover some form of egregore.

Ritual is of fundamental importance to the individual in that it constructs his or her identity within a given cultural context. By following a ritual, individuals demonstrate their belonging to a group, a society, or even a higher principle.

Rites and rituals are the glue that binds all human groups together. The BDSM community is no exception.

Of course, and fortunately, there is no official BDSM ritual. No one can claim to hold the truth. The BDSM rituals that can be found on the net or in literature are the work of specific communities. diverse and variedall drawing on their own cultures, experiences and traditions. Nevertheless, all these rituals share a common thread. There are Dominants and Dominated. The dominated must swear allegiance and obedience to their Mistress according to a specific ceremonial, and in return the Mistress undertakes to help them progress in the ways of submission.

We can of course BDSM without ritual. However, it doesn't take long for those who practice it regularly or make it a lifestyle, a ritual comes naturally. The ritual simply begins with the mantra or oath that the submissive must recite to demonstrate his submission to his Mistress. It often continues with the learning of certain positions, and can extend to the adoption of well-codified protocols and ceremonies. Examples include formal dinners and the Rose Ceremony.

Human beings don't just have physical, psychological or mental characteristics. They also have a need for connect with a symbolic dimension. Ritual provides this link. It creates an atmosphere, reinforces the intimate bonds between the participants and marks out the path the submissive takes to progress and perfect his submission to his Mistress. Indeed, the submissive can be considered to be following an initiatory path.

An ongoing D/s relationship will strive for perfection while knowing it can never be achieved.. In order to approach them, it's important to know the Good and the duties that one must bear to the other. A good submissive and a good Mistress demonstrate relational virtues based on reciprocity and solidarity, such as the submissive's piety, loyalty and trust. The Ritual underlines the behavior to be adopted, and its repetition enables the essence to be appropriated and made an integral part of one's "Self". It is a bond that unites and regulates the relationship between Mistresses and their submissives. Ritual is not a recitation, still less a play. The spirit of the ritual is far more important than the letter.