IMG 0824 Débuter dans le BDSM : les jouets essentiels

Getting started with BDSM: essential toys

Have you just entered the wonderful world of BDSM and you feel overwhelmed by all the complex toys available? I wrote an article about everyday objects a while ago, and I invite you to (re)read it if you haven't already. You've been playing with clothespins, ice cubes, and other items you can find at home, and now you're ready to invest in some equipment BDSM. Here's a short list of my recommendations.  

As I've said many times before, it's always better to invest in quality rather than quantity. Make sure you use sex toys that are safe for your body (surgical steel, medical silicone, etc.). You'll be much happier to own a few quality items than a drawer full of crap you're not proud of (and which can be potentially dangerous). 

That said, some of these toys can be found at affordable prices on sites like Wish or AliExpress. I'll say more about this in the rest of my article. 

Don't forget hygiene! Wash your toys before and after each use, even if you only have one partner. Use a medical-grade cold sterilization solution to ensure that everything is as clean as possible. Condoms are relatively inexpensive and help save time in your household. Don't be ashamed to use them. 

Without further ado, here are a few recommendations on BDSM basics 

Tools for sensory play 

Sensory play may include stroking the skin with a feather to the electrical stimulation intense. The possibilities are endless, and I love watching the goose bumps appear when I play these games. 

One of my favorite toys is the Wartenberg roulette wheel. In fact, I love them so much I own a whole collection. They were originally designed to test nerve reflexes, but have become a staple of BDSM kit. Depending on the pressure and where you use it, sensations can range from a slight tickle to quite a painful sensation. 

Collar and leash

Another staple of the BDSM kit. Place a necklace around your submissive's neck can be a very intimate moment, a physical symbol of the bond between the two of you, whether for two hours or a lifetime. 

It's also a good way to signal to your partner that it's playtime, much like when we dress up in beautiful lingerie (yes, men can wear lingerie too!), light candles or put on a Barry White song. It's a way of communicating to your partner your desire to share a naughty moment. During play, collars and leashes are also practical ways of directing your submissive around your den. Depending on the force you exert (and the type of collar), this is quite effective. 

I often use the collar for the predicament bondage "If my submissive is forced, for example, to stand on his feet, he risks the discomfort of the collar tightening firmly around his neck. WARNING, this is potentially very dangerous and should not be practised unless you are absolutely aware of the risks. 

Collars and leashes lend themselves easily to "pet play", which has recently become one of my favorite games. Bark my little puppy! 

Impact toys

It's no secret that I'm a sadist, so these are perhaps my favorite instruments. I have a huge collection of whips, tawses, swifts, rods, paddles, whips and other objects I can hit you with. I highly recommend Caresse de Cuir which produces a variety of beautiful impact toys. You can find my Wishlist on their site if you'd like to contribute to my ever-growing collection.

This is one area where I urge you to buy the best quality you can afford right from the start. You will probably be very disappointed if you order from a random mass production site. 

Some toys made by Caresse de Cuir.

Penetration toys 

I love my gigantic collection of dildosBut not everyone can afford to buy or stock so many. Anal plugs, also known as 'rose buds', are great fun. There are different kinds, including connected plugs that can be controlled from an app or programmed in advance. 

Again, be sure to buy toys that are safe for your body and wash them properly between uses, even if you only have one partner.


Who doesn't love a gag? At the very least, it stifles the pleas of a suffering submissive. Depending on the type of gag you use, it can restrict breathing (again, be very careful with this kind of edge play), induce salivation, or widen the mouth to insert other things like my lady cock. 

I can't stress this enough: buy quality. This item will go into your body and you'll need to clean it thoroughly between uses. 

Balaclavas and headbands 

Here's one area where you won't need to invest in expensive items, although you'll probably find yourself doing that as you become more and more experienced in sensory deprivation. Some of my lycra balaclavas were acquired on sites like Wish or AliExpress. They're inexpensive, I can machine wash them at high temperatures, and when they get worn out, I just throw them away. 

Of course, I also have leather, latex and faux leather balaclavas but I love sensory deprivation and always want to have plenty of options available. 

The same goes for headbands. You can use a scarf or sleep mask if you're just starting to build your collection, or you can invest in delicate leather headbands that will keep your submissive completely in the dark. 


A kit of leather handcuffs Sturdy (or vegan leather) handles and pegs are a must in your BDSM toolbox. You can tie the limbs together or to the wall, ceiling, put your submissive in an uncomfortable position, or just make sure he doesn't fidget too much when you play with him. I'm not a fan of metal handcuffs as they can be really painful, and not in a good way. Leather is tough and generally won't leave marks even after more intense play. 

menottes handcuffs

Games/Tortures of the nipples 

Yet another area where you don't necessarily need to spend a lot of money initially. You can find suitable nipple clamps on Wish or AliExpress to get you started. There are a variety of styles, including the popular Japonix style, or with two metal rods that you can attach together with rubber bands. 

If you enjoy extreme nipple torture, you can find nipple clamps with weights on specialized BDSM sites. 

Final score 

You can build up a good collection on a limited budget, but always be careful with objects that will be inserted into your mouth, anus or vagina. If you don't have an autoclave, use a product such as Steranios for cold sterilization, available from any medical device store. 

Keep it safe, keep it kinky!

*The term "predicament bondage" is untranslatable. I invite you to search the internet to learn more about the idea. 

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