Feature interview on Domme Addiction

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Feature interview on Domme Addiction

I was recently contacted by @Onmyknees4Her for DommeAddiction.com. Visit the website for more!

slaveboysmith: She is alluring and sensual, strict and cruel. A dichotomy of sensations and moods, today’s Feature Domme is Parisian beauty Mistress Inanna Justice. It is a privilege to kneel before you Mistress, and thank you for allowing DA to share your story today!

Mistress Inanna Justice: Hello! What a lovely message.

sbs: Well it is a pleasure to serve you in this way Mistress. Let me ask you to begin by sharing a little about how you became a Dominatrix and when you first realized the power you hold over others.

MIJ: According to my Mom, I’ve always been bossy ? For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a natural leader. In my former career, I worked in management. It’s just natural for me to lead others.

I’ve always been very curious, particularly in the boudoir. Some of my early sexual experiences had elements of BDSM, although I didn’t have the vocabulary at the time. Tying up my partner and spanking them was just part of my sexuality. I became a Pro Domme by accident. While I had been in the scene for many years, it wasn’t until about 2 1/2 years ago that I went pro. I was exchanging with a foot fetishist on a kinky dating website and we were having a hard time finding a time to meet. One day, he writes asking if I was free. After replying in the affirmative he asks me how much I charge. I wasn’t at all expecting it! I had just been looking to have some fun. He shows up, sucks my pretty toes for a while, and leaves an envelope on the table.

sbs: What a lucky boy he was! Along with having your feet worshiped, obviously, what other fetishes and kinks do you love to explore within your sessions? Any that are hard limits that anyone inquiring about a session with you must know about, Mistress?

MIJ: I love impact play! Floggers, crops, canes, and my beloved single tails. I’m a high-energy person and this goes along with my profile. I’m also a total goofball, so tickling is a favorite, especially with those subs that take themselves so seriously! Between my wickedly sweet smile and some magic fingers, both of us are in tears of laughter by the end of a session! Anything that has to do with penetration gets me off. Forcing my fingers into someone’s mouth, my dick in their ass, a sound in their cock, or needles through their skin just turns me on. To occupy the same physical space as someone is powerful stuff.

I adore role play of any kind, and have a few rubrics on my website dedicated to specific scenarios (kidnapping, sexologist, police, etc.), but I’ve recently done some sessions that include: perverted real estate agent showing an apartment to an unsuspecting buyer, tinder date gone bad, prison warden who finds drugs in her prison… I was a child actor, so it probably stems from that. Lately I’ve become more and more interested in the dynamics of nursing and ABDL. The psychology of it intrigues me, and I’ve been exploring it with a few of my boys recently.

As far as limits, for the moment it’s scat, vomit, and race play. Poop and puke just don’t turn me on, and humiliating someone based on their race is something that I have an ethical problem doing myself (but no judgement towards those that do it in a healthy way). But of course, limits, like favorite practices, are always evolving.

sbs: With the current world situation, have you found yourself needing to branch out into online/distance training options with your submissives more than previously? For those unable to come to Paris, to kneel before you in person, what type of opportunities are there for them to worship and serve you, Mistress Inanna?

MIJ: I have played with the idea of doing online work, but currently I am focusing my energy on other projects. I host monthly dinners for Pro Dommes, as well as organize workshops on safety (first aid for Dommes, advanced med play, self-defense, accounting…). I also do a rubric on FemDom on a French radio show and have recently started writing a little blog for my website. All of that keeps me quite busy! I’m a very tactile person, which is one reason that I haven’t branched out into online domination.

It is quite unfortunate for those that are outside of Europe (I travel quite a bit and will see well-deserving submissives in certain cases), but for the moment, I’m concentrating my energy on growing a strong sisterhood in the Paris Pro Domme community. I felt that it was really lacking, and bringing women together and empowering each other is very important to me. For those who are inspired to contribute to my well-being, I invite them to contact me directly for options. They can always make a donation in my name to a SW-positive association! Or support another wonderful woman in their area. If the money/energy stays in the sisterhood, even if it’s halfway across the world, I am happy.

feature interview domme addiction

sbs: That is wonderful to hear your views on supporting others and keeping the community safe, Mistress. All too often, competition gets in the way of that. Your profile mentions your work as a Hostess for Pro Domme events in Paris. What can you share of these experiences, and what do you have in the works upcoming?

MIJ: As I mentioned, I host a monthly Domme Dinner (Dîner des Dommes) and organise workshops on a number of topics in order to keep us and our submissives safe. Unfortunately I’ve had to postpone a couple of workshops due to the current state of things, but as soon as things improve with the sanitary crisis in France, I’ll reschedule them. The Domme Dinners give us a time to connect, share stories, compare notes, and just be in the company of one another. I think it helps reduce that competitive aspect that you mentioned (at least for those that attend!). I would like to organise some high-protocol dinners in the near future, as well. Last year, I co-organized several kinky after-works and will also get that back up and running as soon as possible. In the meantime, I’m playing it safe.

sbs: That is definitely the wise choice at this time. So many limits on so many aspects of life we’ve enjoyed previously. Let me ask you a hypothetical…if you could choose one person in this world to have kneeling before you, eager to please, willing to obey your every command, as your first return to normal session, who might you choose, and why them?

MIJ: I’ve actually been sessioning IRL since May, with additional safety measures in place (limited sessions, masks, cleaning procedures) so this doesn’t really apply to me. I don’t really have a dream client. Each person is so unique and wonderful, it’s a matter of finding what makes them special. Maybe Donald Trump so I could put that bitch in his place!!! I don’t have a celebrity dream client. Perhaps a comedian, someone really silly so that I could set out some fun challenges and when they fail, we can laugh together, like Jim Carrey in the 90’s with that super expressive face. I can just imagine him making wild expressions when I’m torturing him ?

Inanna

sbs: You’d probably have to gag him at some point I’m sure lol. Actually that sentiment would apply to both of them. For those who kneel before you, is it always men who submit or do you also have female submissives? Are there women who recognize the superiority of Mistress Inanna Justice and beg to submit to you?

MIJ: I have female play partners, my best masochists, actually, but rarely female submissives. In my private life, I’ve found that there are very few lady submissives (not counting sissies/cross dressers who generally only F-identify during play). This is something that’s different than when I was in the US, where I had more female-identifying partners. My clients are all male, but I would love to have more ladies contact me for sessions.

sbs: Are there significant differences in the types of sessions, fetishes explored etc between the two?

MIJ: Do you mean between male and female partners? Or between masochists and subs? Of course there’s a huge difference between masos and subs: the two don’t necessarily go hand in hand. And seeing as my female play partners aren’t usually submissives, yes, there’s a big difference between my male and female play mates. For example, I don’t think that any of my female play partners would consider herself a fetishist (unless it’s for filling up her own shoe closet, but that has nothing to do with the sexual fetishism of say, latex, leather, stockings, etc…) but many of my male partners do.

sbs: I was leaning towards differences between male and female submissives, but your answer is perfect. For those reading your responses, entranced by your beauty and intellect, your sensuality, what advice might you give them to ensure they make the best possible first impression in contacting you?

MIJ: The best way to impress me is to show that you’ve read my website in detail. Not just looked at the photos, but actually taken the time to read! I write short articles that reflect my views on FemDom, kink, safety and how to get the most out of a session with me. The submissives that have done so before contacting me have a much better chance of being accepted for a session. I am selective about who I see: if they don’t invest the time, effort, and energy before contacting me, they will likely be refused the opportunity to serve me.

sbs: And with all that you’ve already experienced and accomplished as a Domme, what comes next for the beautiful and talented Mistress Inanna Justice? What can your devoted followers eagerly anticipate next?

MIJ: I have several projects in the works (aside from the ones that I mentioned earlier: ProDomme-only workshops/events, high-protocol soirées, tours…) that I don’t want to divulge right now but will be making some big announcements (hopefully very) soon. Due to the current circumstances, some things have been put on hold, but that just allows me to perfect the many, many ideas that are brewing in my mind!

sbs: It’s enticing to imagine you dreaming up new ways to dominate submissives and make us weaker for you. Thank you so much for the privilege of this interview, Mistress Inanna. With your permission, may I please ask one final question of you before crawling away and getting to work on your feature?

MIJ: Of course ?

sbs: Thank you Mistress Inanna Justice. If we were conducting this interview in person, me kneeling before you, spellbound by your beauty and intoxicated by your power as I asked my questions, how might such an interview conclude?

MIJ: Well, darling, with you kissing my feet as a thank you, of course! And then me giving you a big hug and inviting you to join me for a glass of wine or Perrier at my table to discuss, “off the record”, our thoughts on sexuality, specifically within the framework of FemDom. I always have things to learn, regardless of how many parties I have attended, how many people I have met, how many books I have read. Each day brings the opportunity to learn something new, and after those sweet kisses of adoration on my feet, I would love to hear what wisdom you can afford me. Oh, and I might also stick my dick in your butt if things go well ?

Feature interview on Domme Addiction
Open wide slaveboy!
Feature interview on Domme Addiction

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A brief explanation of terms for safer play in BDSM

A brief explanation of terms for safer play in BDSM

If you have been around the BDSM scene for a while, you have likely heard SSC and RACK used. What is the difference? And how about other, less-known acronyms such as PRICK and CCC? What are the variations between them, and what are your expectations when entering into an exchange with a Mistress or other play partner?

This is a very nuanced subject, and I will not go too far into details, but I do want to offer a brief introduction. If you are looking to delve into the specifics, there are endless resources available online and in print.

The four most commonly used acronyms when discussing safer play are:

SSC: Safe, sane, and consensual.

RACK: Risk-aware consensual kink

PRICK: Personal responsibility informed consensual kink

CCC: Committed, compassionate, consensual

One word that appears in all four acronyms is consent, which is the basis for all healthy BDSM (and other) relationships. Merriam-Webster defines it:

  1. to give assent or approval

  2. compliance in or approval of what is done or proposed by another

  3. agreement as to action or opinion

In the context of BDSM, this is the act of both parties agreeing to participation in certain acts (which may or may not be sexual in nature). If both parties are not in agreement, it is not an act of consent, but of abuse. This is one of many reasons that Mistresses have lengthy questionnaires asking for hard and soft limits before engaging in any sort of play: we do not want to cause any lasting damage to your psyche. It should be mentioned that there are legal issues to consider, even if the sub/bottom consents, but that’s a subject for another time.

Now for the nuances between the acronyms.

Safety BDSM
Being aware how to play safer crucial in BDSM scenes.

SSC:

This terms was introduced in 1983 by David Stein, who wanted “to distinguish the kind of S/M I wanted to do from the criminally abusive or neurotically self-destructive behavior popularly associated with the term ‘sadomasochism’.”

Let’s be real: BDSM is inherently dangerous. Even a so-called soft practice can cause permanent damage when done incorrectly. Not to mention, what one person considers safe, another might consider bonkers. Think of scuba diving. There is no way in hell I’m going to strap on a tank and dive dozens of meters underwater, surrounded by unusual creatures that may eat me. That just doesn’t feel safe to me (and no, you can’t convince me otherwise). But for others, it’s how they spend every weekend. There is no one definition of safe that works for every human on earth.

Sanity is also subjective, and one reason that I lean more towards RACK or PRICK. For example, I have a sub that, when in stressful conditions (which BDSM scenes are by design), has a difficult time expressing himself verbally. He is “sane,” but I have to be on extra alert when playing with him, monitoring his vital signs and non-verbals to avoid sensory overload. Many of us suffer from depression, anxiety, or any other number of disorders that have commonly been viewed as “insane,” despite leading completely normal lives. If I excluded every person that has had a burnout or suffered depression, I would never play again!

Also, if we think that there are non-safe ways to play, what does that mean for those of us who take part in those practices? For the average non-kinky person, even a mild practice like putting a collar on a sub and leading them on a leash may seem insane. I would love to see the look on their faces when I talk about my average Friday night!

In short, I find SSC to be too subjective for my version of BDSM.

RACK:

RACK was coined in 1999 by Guy Switch, who compared mountain climbing to BDSM. For both activities, the risk makes up a big part of the thrill, but one can minimize danger through proper training, equipment, and technique. Awareness and education are key concepts in RACK, and all participants are expected to be able base their decisions on the information that they have acquired about a certain practice. My partner may be willing to be flogged because I (likely) won’t break the skin on his booty, but a single tail is out of the question as the chance of me drawing blood is much higher. With RACK, there is an expectation that the sub is aware of that prior to consenting to a scene.

PRICK:

This is a fairly new acronym in the BDSM scene, becoming popular in 2009, but one that I appreciate as it emphasizes personal responsibility (and not just awareness of possible dangers) of all participants involved. Each person has the right to accept or reject a particular practice, and must live with the consequences of their decisions. As a Pro Domme, I veer towards this, particularly with subs that want harder practices. As much as it is my responsibility to educate and train myself, my subs also have a role to play. I cannot be responsible if someone doesn’t communicate their needs.

One criticism of PRICK is that we can never be fully prepared for a practice that we have never tried before. Indeed, even if you are with a Mistress that has mastered a particular practice, your body and mind may not be prepared for the experience in real life.

CCC:

Committed, compassionate, and consensual is another term that is gaining in popularity in some circles. CCC is generally for TPE (total power exchange) or 24/7 relationships and generally not adapted for Professional Dommes or with play partners. With CCC, the sub does not make their desires known, but rather only discloses their hard limits. The Dominant partner decides everything (when, where, what, how, with whom…). Safe words are often not part of CCC agreements, although conversations between the submissive and the dominant partner are had to ensure that the practices remain consensual. While many people believe that they want to enter into a CCC relationship, often the submissive realizes that there are a plethora of risks involved, including potentially life-threatening physical and emotional damage.

As I mentioned earlier, consent is the backbone of all of these acronyms. If you did not agree to something that your partner does to you, it’s abuse. Despite what it looks like to those who are not involved in the BDSM scene, generally speaking Dommes are benevolent and caring people who strive to provide a safe sphere to explore the magical possibilities of power exchange.

In BDSM, we are flirting with danger (and it’s soooo good), but we can prepare ourselves mentally and physically to avoid risks. I invite you to do some deeper reading and see what works for you. Take elements from each of these philosophies. Each have their strengths and weaknesses; it’s up to you to decide what feels the most appropriate for your current situation. Most importantly, talk to your partner! Communication in relationships, be them with a professional Dominatrix or not, is the key to having beautiful and enriching experiences.

*I use the term “sub” frequently. I could easily replace that with fetishist or bottom or masochist or client or slave or any number of words. See my article on the subject. 

If you like the content of my articles, feel free to share the links on social media. You can also follow me on Twitter to stay up-to-date on my BDSM adventures.

My start as a Professional Domme

My start as a professional Dominatrix

One of the most common questions Pro Dommes get asked is how we got started. This inquiry comes from subs, our friends and family, from ladies interested in breaking into the business, from people that we see in play parties. Hardly a day goes by when someone, either online or in person, doesn’t ask the question. I’m always fond of hearing the stories of others, so here’s mine. The short version, at least.

I’ve always been very sexual. I took a lot of pleasure with my own body then later, with others. I also love to play. Those that know me well will tell you that I am a thrill-seeker, always looking for a new adventure, an intense sensation, an exciting experience. From early on in my sexual experiences, there were already elements of BDSM, but I had no idea at the time. Spankings, humiliation, and pegging were things that I did because they were exciting, a bit taboo, and just plain felt good.

One hot summer day in 2012, I went to the local bookstore and bought a copy of 50 Shades of Grey (don’t judge, another subject, another time). I read it cover-to-cover that afternoon, enthralled with the power exchange, the toys described, the idea that someone would give up so much of themselves for sexual pleasure. Being the curious person that I am, I quickly started doing research on the subject. I found FetLife shortly thereafter, and that was the beginning of my ascent into the marvelous world of BDSM. I started attending munches, going to the sex club on fetish night, meeting people, talking, playing, and reading anything I could get my hands on. I was hooked.

Fast forward several years. I’m living in Paris, very involved in the kink scene, going to play parties weekly, have several regular play partners (and lots of occasional ones). I was perusing a kinky dating website and I meet a foot fetishist. We went back and forth over the next couple of weeks, but could never find a time to meet. One day, he sent me a message asking if I was free and I responded in the affirmative. “How much is it ?” he asks. Huh ? I wasn’t expecting that. At all! I just wanted the little pervert to come over and lick my feet for a while, maybe my pussy if things went well. I quickly text my then-girlfriend (who was and still is a sex worker) asking what I should charge. He comes over, sniffs my feet for a while, throws some money on the table, and leaves. Fucking awesome! I just made a couple hundred euro for doing something that I love.

I began talking to my friends, apprehensive about going pro ‘for real.’ Getting a little money here and there is one thing, seeing yourself as a sex worker is another entirely. Plus, coming from the US, I had socially-ingrained biases about sex work. Although I have always advocated for women using their power/prowess to do what they want with their bodies, doing it myself was another story. I went back and forth for months. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It’s incredibly empowering to be paid for giving pleasure, not to mention for doing what you love. I decided to take the plunge.

It was difficult to begin with. I had a lot of time-wasters, people that just wanted to talk to a ‘real Domme’ (whatever that means), lots of no-shows. But I loved what I was doing and, being stubborn as I am, I kept on. I was fortunate to have people that I could be open with about my decision. They supported me and gave me advice, encouraged me to carve a path for myself as a Professional Dominatrix, and are still by my side today. I’ve learned a lot about myself, about the difference between being a lifestyle player and a Pro Domme, about sexuality and perversions (I never use that word in a negative sense), about power exchange and letting go, and certainly about how to manage a business. It’s a challenging  but an incredibly rewarding experience.

It’s been a little over two years since I first placed an ad on a website as a Pro Domme. I don’t think I’ll ever take it down.

If you like the content of my articles, feel free to share the links on social media. You can also follow me on Twitter to stay up-to-date on my BDSM adventures.