Beginners BDSM Session Special

débutant bdsm

BDSM Session for Beginners with Inanna Justice

As you might already know, I love introducing beginners to BDSM. We always remember our first times: the first time we kissed someone, the first time we drove a car, our first vacation as an adult… I want to initiate more people to the wonders of this world in a safe and reassuring framework.

We will begin with a video call of 15 minutes where you can ask me anything that you would like. Want to know more about a certain practice but you’re too shy to ask someone? No problem, I have heard a lot of unusual fantasies and I will not judge you. Are you interested in meeting a kinky partner but don’t know where to look? I have tons of resources that can help you in your research. Do you just simply want to ask questions about me? I’m an open book.  Whatever you want to discuss is fine with me! The point is that you feel more comfortable when we finally meet.

I will require that you read several articles on my website before our session and will verify that you have done so before we meet. This is to ensure that our time together is as enjoyable as possible and that you’re aware of some BDSM basics that I feel are essential to having the best time possible. I find that this also reassures beginners of my commitment to safety and the well-being of my play partners.

From there, we will set a date for our session. Because this is intended to be an initiation session, I have selected some of the most requested practices for beginners. You can choose three from the list that I’ve curated:

Foot/stocking/shoe worship

Anal play

Bondage

Impact play (floggers and hand spankings)

Sensory deprivation

bdsm beginners
Like the idea of worshiping my boots and stockings?

The session lasts 1h15 minutes, which includes time for a shower at the beginning and the end of play time. We will then have a quick drink together to debrief.

As with all my sessions, there is a deposit to be paid before we schedule our video call. This is non-refundable, but if you give me at least 48 hours’ notice, I allow you to reschedule one time in the following 30 days without losing your deposit.

I am also currently requiring a COVID test for all sessions. This must be done less than 24 hours before our session time and you need to show me the results when you arrive. For those that haven’t done one, it’s not pleasant but it’s not painful. Nearly every pharmacy in my neighborhood does them without an appointment.

I hope that this encourages more people to take that very intimidating first step. I was very lucky to have some excellent people guiding me when I was a beginner in the scene, and I hope that I can be that for others. BDSM can be scary when you don’t know what to expect, but my hopes are that this program helps soothe some of those fears and helps people move on to explore all the fantastic things that we can experience in this world.

If you’re interested in scheduling this type of session, send me an email with “BDSM beginners program” in the subject line and we can plan the next steps.

Please note: this is intended for those with little or no real-life experience with a Domme. It is not a way for more experienced players to have a less expensive session with me. If I find out that you are more practiced, I will cancel our session and you will be added to the blacklist for your dishonesty. My goal is to introduce beginners to the magic of BDSM and I won’t tolerate someone taking advantage of my kindness and generosity. Thank you for your understanding on this point.

BDSM beginners
Yes, sometimes we laugh during sessions!

If you enjoy my articles, feel free to share them on social media. You can follow me on Twitter to hear about my BDSM adventures on a (nearly) daily basis.

BDSM Munch: What is it and what to expect

BDSM MUNCH

Do you dream about going to a gathering of 20, 30, 40 or more people where you can discuss BDSM in a safe and open-minded environment? While COVID has put a damper on group activities for the time being, it won’t be long before we can again get together with our friends. Here are a few things that you should know before attending your first munch so that you and everyone around you has the best time possible.

What’s a munch anyways?

Munches are events where you go to a café or restaurant to meet like-minded kinky people, but not to play. Generally, we eat a meal together, have a drink or two, and chit-chat. Sometimes there are activities to help break the ice and get the conversation going between participants. Most munches are open to the public, but it’s always a good idea to let the hosts know that you’re coming in advance in case there’s a restriction on the number of people in the location.

While there will be a mix of Dom(me)s and subs, there is no D/s protocol. That’s to say that, if you’re a sub, you’re not going to be running around fetching drinks for people all night long (unless you actively want to be doing so). Dom(me)s shouldn’t expect that people that are not employees of the establishment offer them service of any kind. If you’re submissive, the only thing that’s expected of you is to be courteous. Actually, that goes for both tops and bottoms!

Why go to a munch?

Munches are a great place to meet people in the community, be that to play with later or just to have some support while you’re learning more about BDSM. I always encourage my subs to attend to meet other submissives and create relationships where they can share their stories openly. Having a support network is so helpful when you’re asking questions about your sexuality and desires.

Don’t go to a munch expecting to meet your dream Domme. If she is there, casually exchange a few words to get the conversation going and see if she’s open to discussing more. Don’t be overbearing and expect that she wants to spend the evening only with you. She’s there to catch up with friends, too.

Attending a munch can be a good first step before going to a play party. Once you’ve met a few people at munches, you can ask advice about which parties are best suited for your desires, and perhaps even find a group to go with.

It can also be a good meeting spot for someone that you’ve been chatting with online. If they don’t show up for some reason, there are plenty of other people that you can talk to.

MUNCH BDMS
If you see me at a munch, I certainly won’t be dressed like this.

Rules at a munch

Most munches are open to everyone, although there are some that have specific purposes. In Paris, there is JPK (Jeunes parisiens et kinky) for people under 35. Other munches are restricted to female Dommes, others are only for submissives. Make sure that the munch that you’re going to attend is appropriate for you.

Be sure to thoroughly read the rules of the munch before you show up. Photos are generally not allowed. Not everyone is “out” about being kinky, so even if you’re tempted to snap a selfie with a hot Domme, curb your desires and keep your phone in your pocket.

Titles such as Mistress or Sir are generally discouraged at munches unless you’re already in a relationship with someone. It irks me when an unknown sub comes up to me and calls me Mistress (you can read my article on the many reasons I don’t like it). We usually have name tags with the name that we want to use during the event. If you happen to know that someone’s real name is different than the one on the name tag, please refrain from using it.

Don’t touch anyone without their permission at a munch (or anywhere, for that matter). Again, this is not a play party, it’s an opportunity to meet people and discover. Something that I love about the kink community is that we often ask each other before hugging/kissing. Not everyone has the same comfort level with physical touch, even if you might think it’s innocent.

Don’t be creepy. Don’t follow one person around all night because you find them attractive. No means no. Be aware of body language. These are general life skills, but they bear repeating.

Anonymity and discretion

It’s possible that you may run across someone you know at any of these events, but they’re there too, so don’t fret. The BDSM community is generally very discrete. Part of what we advocate for is that we’re not judged for what we do behind closed doors, so if you do bump into your cousin or your boss, chances are that they won’t be spreading gossip about where they saw you.

Most munches have a dedicated room in a restaurant where the public can’t access the event, but if that’s not the case, be discreet in your conversations. No need to be screaming about the amazing session you had the night before, divulging all the details of your naughty games.

Of course, you should keep the same thing in mind if you see someone that you know. Avoid conversations about how you know each other if you can. If it’s awkward for you, simply wave hello from across the room and avoid speaking to them if that feels like the best solution.

BDSM munch
Leave your toys at home.

General courtesy  

Be mindful that the restaurant staff is generally quite busy on Munch night. At the PariS-M munch there can be upwards of 50 or 60 people. Be patient with the staff that are there to ensure you’re having a good time. As a former restaurant worker, I can tell you that the people that complained loudly to their table neighbors got a lot less attention than those that said please and thank you a lot.

If someone is bothering you, let the organizers know right away. They are there to be helpful and ensure that everyone is respectful and having a good time. We would much rather hear about a problem on the spot rather than learning later that there was inappropriate behavior.

How to dress for a munch

If you were to wander into a munch unexpectedly, you might just think it was a company party or a class reunion. People are dressed in everyday clothes; you won’t see men on leashes and women dressed in full latex catsuits. Some submissives will be wearing their collar, but that’s about the kinkiest attire that you’ll see.

Dress as if you’re going to an evening out with friends, or perhaps a little fancier if that’s your thing. I generally wear a pretty dress and heels, my male dates usually wear a nice pair of jeans with a button up shirt and dress shoes.

Final thoughts

Try to meet both Dommes and subs while you’re there. Be open-minded and recognize that we can all learn from each other, regardless of how you identify.

Have fun! We’re just a bunch of kink-loving perverts who want to socialize. If you go into it with an open mind and keeping these tips in mind, you’ll have a great time.

If you enjoy my articles, feel free to share them on social media. You can follow me on Twitter to hear about my BDSM adventures on a (nearly) daily basis.

BDSM DOMINA MUNCH

Gang Bangs: A Feminist Vision

gang bang

My Introduction to Gang Bangs

A few years ago, if you had told me that I would be interested in gang bangs, I would have told you that you were insane. Then I met someone who gave me a completely different perspective on them.

I met J at a munch (an event where kinky-minded people go to meet each other) and then a few days later, ran into him at a play party. He was a bit shy and stood alone, quietly watching the beautiful choreography that happens at a BDSM soirée.

I had a bit of a hard time reading him, so I decided to make some small talk and find out a bit about this curious fellow. We chatted about this and that and I found out that he was a photographer. It was at the beginning of my career as a Pro Domme, so I asked if he’d be interested in taking some photos for my website. He graciously accepted and we set a date for a few days later.

He had a place lined up for us to do our photo shoot, a big industrial loft in the 20e arrondissement of Paris. I had been there for a few events, so already knew the space. But I didn’t know how he knew of the space, as I had never seen him at any parties prior to the week before.

“I’ve been coming here for, uh, ummm… some events,” he timidly muttered.

“Oh yeah? What events? I don’t remember ever seeing you at anything here.”

“Well, um… Gang bangs,” he finally blurted out.

“What, really?!” I asked, not able to hide my surprise and disdain.

This sweet guy is one of those egotistical jerks that gets off on objectifying women? I think to myself.

“Yeah, I think gang bangs are really beautiful. The woman is the center of attention, it’s all about pleasing her, making sure that she’s satisfied…”

Hmmm, well, I’ve never thought about it that way…

As my readers know, I’m a very open-minded person, so I decided to dig deeper on the subject. J and I became close and each time we discussed gang bangs, my views on them slowly began to change. I read a couple of blogs on the subject and how they are set up.

Pre-show logistics and consent

Generally speaking, an organizer is contacted by a heterosexual couple who wants to live out this fantasy. While much of the preparation can be done in the presence of the boyfriend/husband, the host will set a time to speak to the woman without her partner around. This is to ensure that she is not being coerced into doing something that she’s not 100% into. As we all know, peer pressure can be a real bitch, especially coming from a horny partner. I was glad to learn that there was a safety valve for the woman to opt-out.

According to one organizer, he has had to cancel events when he had the feeling that the woman wasn’t fully into the idea. Instead of telling the boyfriend, he will make up an excuse why he has decided to not follow through with the gang bang so that there will not be any backlash between the couple later. Very cool.

Once the couple and the host have set a date, it is up to the organizer to find suitable gang-bangers. There is a screening process for the guests, as well. It’s not just any Tom, Dick, or Harry that gets invited to these events. A good event host has a little black book with his best “performers”: the ones that show up on time with a big smile and smelling good, never talk back, don’t get pushy when there’s eight guys lined up to serve a woman (yes, I deliberately use the term “serve” her). From this address book, the organizer can select the ones that are best suited to the couples needs and desires.

I spoke with Pamy, who has been organizing gang bangs since 2012  about his protocol in casting. He told me that when a new guy applies to attend an event, he has a phone call to reiterate what is explicitly written on his website. This is so that Pamy has a better idea of who the person is, and is able to filter out those who, for example, may not have the woman’s’ best interests in mind.

He explained that he never allows more than one or two new guys for every 10 regulars to a gang bang. The others are men that have previously attended events and have proven their worth. He claims that this is one of the most valuable tools in discouraging bad behavior. If the new guy shows up and sees all that the others know each other, the newbie is going to be a lot less likely to bring any negativity to the scene. Pamy knows that he can count on his loyal crew to keep their eyes open for any bad behavior and inform him so that he can act accordingly.

Knowing that there is so much care taken to ensure that everyone is safe before a gang bang really helped me see things differently. It’s not much different than a BDSM scene: consent and respect are the keys to everything going smoothly.

Pamy spoke to me briefly about single women who contact him to organize an event. He said that the preparation is even more intense, as she doesn’t have the safety net of a partner. He spends more time carefully selecting which men will participate based on her preferences. He proposes that they meet to discuss prior to the event so that he can ensure that he’s done everything in his power to make sure things are up to her standards and that she will be treated with the utmost respect and care.

gang bang

Inanna’s Gang Bang

One day when I was talking to J, I blurted out that I wanted a gang bang, but not a traditional one. I wanted an all-girl gang bang. I hadn’t really thought too much about it, but it came out of my mouth. Over the next few months, we casually chatted about it, but I didn’t think much more of it. It was just a fantasy for me, one that I could do or not do, just like a lot of the other fantasies living in my perverse head.

Around my birthday, J tells me to block off an evening in my calender. I do so, thinking that he’s got us tickets for the theater or a nice dinner planned. Throughout the day, he keeps sending me cryptic messages and doesn’t stop asking how I’m feeling. I have no idea what’s up, but play along.

He tells me to go home, take a long bath, have one glass of wine but no more, get dressed for a sexy evening, and be ready for a chauffeur to pick me up at 7pm. I trust him wholeheartedly, so I oblige and don’t ask any questions.

At 7pm, I’m in front of my apartment building and an Uber pulls up.

“Are you Inanna,” the driver asks.

“Yes, I am,” I reply.

“And the address is 123 Rue de Machin Truc in Montreuil?”

My heart leaps into my throat. I know that address. It’s a well-known spot for, you guessed it, gang bangs.

I’m someone that rarely gets nervous. I can keep my cool in pretty much any situation, but I was trembling. Oh, god. Is this it? Am I finally going to get my fantasy gang bang?

As the driver pulls up to the destination, J is standing on the sidewalk and comes around to open the door for me. I look at him and see a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

“J, what is this?”

“I think you know,” he replies. “You up for it? If not, there’s plenty of good champagne and snacks to get us through the evening without playing.”

“Heck yeah, I’m up for it!” I respond enthusiastically.

We go inside and he pops a bottle of champagne and serves me a glass. We sit together quietly for a few minutes before he blindfolds me and leads me downstairs.

As he uncovers my eyes, I see seven women standing around me, each wearing a strap-on. I know a few of the them, including my best friend C (who I later find out was in charge of the casting for my gang bang). Their cocks are all different shapes and sizes, their bodies, too. As I take in the scene, I begin to feel hands all over my body. Fourteen hands caressing, squeezing, massaging, pinching, searching. The rest of the world fades away…

I will let my dear readers’ imagination run wild with the details of the evening, because even if I wanted to tell you all that happened that night, I can’t. I was transported out of my body into an ocean of flesh, of pleasure, of abandon.

As the evening winds down, we cuddle on plush couches reliving the scene. Eight women, 16 hands and miles upon miles of skin. Most of us had already participated in many orgies, but we all agree that this was different. I was the center of attention and they were all there to serve me.

feminist

My Invitation to a Gang Bang

Over time, I get to know Pamy a bit more and tell him I’m interested in participating one day. J comes home one evening and tells me he’s just gotten off the phone with Pamy, who was organizing an event a few days later. Not technically a gang bang, as there are several woman, but an evening where there will be A LOT more men than woman. (In French, it’s called “la pluralité masculine,” but I haven’t been able to find a suitable translation in English. Whatever, sounds sexier in French, anyways.)

Again, my curiosity gets the best of me and I accept. The night of, I put on some sexy lingerie and we head to the loft.

As the women are upstairs getting ready, I am with the boys downstairs sipping Perrier. In my purse is my dick, a thick and long cock that I have had the pleasure of fucking many, many people with over the years. Often at events, there are women that are there just to observe, so the men around me assume that I’m just going to watch.

Pamy gives a small speech, telling the gents to get down to their underwear and I do the same, sneaking around the corner to properly adjust my strap-on before stepping out amidst the 35 or 40 guys who are there to “ensure that the ladies are satisfied,” as Pamy says.

The Grand Entrance

I look up to the balcony, and see four beautiful women start coming down the stairs. Each one of them has a killer pair of shoes, great lingerie, and a small handbag with her private affairs. As they prance into the main room, the space comes alive. There are hands everywhere, bodies crashing into one another, the sensual, primal cries of women in ecstasy.

The women choose what they want, grabbing an ass or a cock and putting it wherever they want: their mouths, their asses, rubbing dicks on their breasts, on their faces. They grab men by the hair and shove faces into their pussies. These women are in total bliss, the men are simply breathing sex toys there to serve them. It is primal and it is beautiful.

At one point, one of the ladies points to my dick and says “I want to taste that one.” I happily oblige. She slips my cock into her mouth, then turns around and motions to me that she wants me to fuck her. I happily oblige. She tires of me after a few minutes, gently pushes me away, then grabs another object to fill her holes. I am in awe.

Throughout the evening, I see all the men taking breaks, but these women are insatiable! They can’t get enough, and Pamy said that we had to make sure that no women was left unsatisfied…

I do my part, fucking the two women that signaled that they wanted me. And that’s the key. They asked me, just like was the case for every person in the room. At no point did I see a man get pushy (aside from, ironically, the husband of one of the women who tried to touch my dick without asking: he got a sharp slap and a few nasty words for that one. I think he’ll remember Inanna.).

All of the men were respectful, generous with their bodies, they paid attention to the body language of the Goddesses that were using them and moved in and out of the space appropriately. The women were the Queens of the night, using the men as they pleased to fulfill their most primal desires.

gang bang

A feminist Vision of Gang Bangs

The most feminist thing a woman can do is to take charge of her sexuality, even when it falls outside of the norms. Female domination is just that, right?

In a gang bang, the woman uses men for her pleasure. It’s her body and her sexuality that are in the spotlight. She doesn’t ask, she takes. She is the center of attention, the men are there to serve her. See any parallels?

Are gang bangs feminist? I think that the argument can certainly be made for the case. If I didn’t believe so, I would never have participated. And I certainly wouldn’t have accepted that invitation to go to another one as soon as possible.

gang bang feminist

Photos by @jinklab. Be sure to follow them on Twitter.

And, of course, stay up to date with my kinky adventures @InannaJustice. Read my other articles to learn more about me and my passion for BDSM.

Written in collaboration with fffbuzz.com. Go to the website to read more!

Female Fetish Federation

Massage and Happy Endings

massage happy endings

happy endings at a Massage Parlor

A few nights ago, while waiting for my lover to arrive, I decided to get a little massage to kill time. The neighborhood where they live has tons of massage parlors and I had had a long day spanking booties. What better than to lay back for a little while and let someone massage my tired shoulders and aching feet?

I choose a random shop and ring the bell. A pretty young Asian woman opens the door and asks me what I want.

“Oh, just a 30 minute massage to relax a bit,” I respond.

“Come in. Would you like a cup of tea,” she offers.

“Thank you, that would be great.”

She asks me to follow her down a narrow staircase. The place is a bit seedy, in need of a fresh coat of paint, but very clean. I see a bottle of the same disinfectant that I use in my studio on a counter in the hall, a stack of freshly washed towels, slightly worn but ironed sheets in a basket.

She leads me into a small room equipped with a mat on the floor and asks me to undress and drink my tea. I comply.

massage happy endings

As I settle in, I take in the surroundings: a small Buddha statue in one corner with a candle and a few sticks of incense sitting as his feet as an offering. I’ve always appreciated that tradition of some cultures where there is a daily ritual of presenting some sort of gift to their god/dess.

There is a bottle of hydro-alcoholic gel and a box of masks sitting on a low table, the ever-present items during this period where we must be so diligent due to a strange virus that has taken the world by surprise. There is also a large bottle of massage oil and an essential oil diffuser that emits soft clouds of lightly perfumed steam. On a lower shelf, there are a few folded hand towels and a box of disposable gloves.

I finish my tea and begin to undress. The walls are covered in a dark patterned wallpaper and there is a painting of Buddha. I fold my clothes, place them in a corner and lie face down on the mat. I can already feel my breathing becoming deeper as I settle in.

The young woman knocks softly on the door and comes in, checking that I’m warm enough then begins to massage my feet. For my foot fetishists, you know how much I appreciate a good foot massage and this lady is excellent. She slowly works her way up my calves, thighs and back, alternating between deep, intense strokes and more delicate caresses. I occasionally emit a soft sigh of pleasure as I drift in and out of a semi-sleep state.

After a few minutes, she asks me to turn over and begins the process on the other side, starting at my feet and slowly working her way up my body. As she reaches the place where my legs join my torso, I feel her expert hands exploring near my sex. I open my eyes and she asks if I would like her to continue to concentrate on that area.

“Sure,” I say. What better way to really relax than a quick orgasm, I think to myself.

“It’s 20€ extra,” she says.

“Yes, no problem.”

She takes a glove from the box, expertly slips it on and starts to focus on that area that is the source of so much pleasure. I quickly orgasm, excited by the situation as much as the physical stimulation. She removes the glove and continues to massage my torso, breasts, chest and finally my head.

After, we chat a bit and she asks me what I do for a living. I tell her that I’m a sex worker, as well, but she doesn’t quite grasp the concept of what a Domme does. Between the language barrier that exists between us (she has a minimal knowledge of French and English and I don’t know a word of Thai) and it generally being a difficult idea for people to understand if they’re not in the lifestyle, it’s not easy to explain. Despite this, she giggles as she grasps the idea that I, too, see a lot of naked men who are looking to escape from their daily routine for a few minutes to find pleasure.

She leaves the room and I get dressed, leaving a €50 bill on the table. I imagine that the extra €30 will be appreciated. I know it always is when one of my clients does the same.

I go upstairs, bid her goodnight and thank her for the massage.

“It was a pleasure to massage a colleague,” she says. “Please come back soon.”

Two happy endings to this story: my orgasm and creating a bond with a colleague, even if it was only for a few minutes.

If you enjoy my articles, feel free to share them on social media. You can also follow me on Twitter to hear about my BDSM adventures on a (nearly) daily basis.

Trains, planes and automobiles: sex on the go

SEX on the go

Trains, planes and automobiles: sex on the go

I’m currently riding in the back seat of a small van filled with a few kinky friends, taking a much-needed quick trip out of Paris after our second lockdown. The demographics of our small group are as follows: two sex workers, two erotic photographers, four of us are bi- or pan-sexual, most of us are polyamorous, and all of us are active in the “sexually enlightened” community in Paris, leaders of various associations or events, working to promote healthier and safer sex for all.

Needless to say, the conversation is about sex, sex and more sex. Ok, there are a few variations on the theme: we also discuss sexual orientation, BDSM, policies and politics that affect us as sexually liberated individuals.. Yeah, when I’m with my close friends, we talk about sex a lot!

This isn’t my first time traveling with some of them, and stories of prior road trips together start coming out. My friend Daniel tells the story of one trip we took together a few years ago where, not even fifteen minutes after leaving Paris, I already had pulled a couple of sex toys out of my bag and started using them on myself and our lovely travel companion.

I recall another time with Daniel where we decide that it would be fun for the ladies in the car to flash the truck drivers along the way to a weekend of BDSM fun (yeah, we know how to pre funk). I don’t recall how many truckers we showed our tits to, but we certainly got a lot of smiles and honks of appreciation.

Ines tells the story of when she and Sofiane were flying to Italy and he starts fingering her in the cabin, using the menu to cover his hands as they slip under her dress. Apparently an airline steward came by and asked them what they wanted to order. I can just imagine sweet Ines blushing when getting caught, and the wickedly sexy Sofiane continuing to pleasure her despite her sweet (but insincere) pleas to stop.

While traveling to Japan, Patrice’s girlfriend unexpectedly went down on him while he was playing with his camera, making last minute adjustments to his settings before landing. He said that he was so taken aback that he allowed her to continue for a few moments before realizing that there could be serious repercussions.

Of course, I have lots of stories of my own. The time an intercity train stopped to throw me and my lover off between stops because I was giving them head (the wagon was empty, we were surely caught on video). Another train trip when a kinky young man offered me a coffee and we finished in the bathroom. I got hot and heavy with a beautiful brunette on a boat. I’ve masturbated on an airplane countless times and who knows how often I’ve gotten down and dirty on the highway…

So why is it that we’re so drawn to sex-on-the-go? Is it due to our busy lifestyles, that we so rarely slow down that sex in vehicles is so popular? Is it because many of us like the possibility of getting caught? Is it the movement of the vehicle that vibrates our most intimate parts and gets us riled up? Who knows, but don’t be surprised if one day you’re on a plane and you see me coming out of the bathroom with my hair a bit messy, my eyes twinkling, and a little smile tugging on the corners of my mouth.

If you enjoy my articles, share them on social media! You can follow me on Twitter to hear about my BDSM adventures on a (nearly) daily basis.