My start as a Professional Domme

My start as a professional Dominatrix

One of the most common questions Pro Dommes get asked is how we got started. This inquiry comes from subs, our friends and family, from ladies interested in breaking into the business, from people that we see in play parties. Hardly a day goes by when someone, either online or in person, doesn’t ask the question. I’m always fond of hearing the stories of others, so here’s mine. The short version, at least.

I’ve always been very sexual. I took a lot of pleasure with my own body then later, with others. I also love to play. Those that know me well will tell you that I am a thrill-seeker, always looking for a new adventure, an intense sensation, an exciting experience. From early on in my sexual experiences, there were already elements of BDSM, but I had no idea at the time. Spankings, humiliation, and pegging were things that I did because they were exciting, a bit taboo, and just plain felt good.

One hot summer day in 2012, I went to the local bookstore and bought a copy of 50 Shades of Grey (don’t judge, another subject, another time). I read it cover-to-cover that afternoon, enthralled with the power exchange, the toys described, the idea that someone would give up so much of themselves for sexual pleasure. Being the curious person that I am, I quickly started doing research on the subject. I found FetLife shortly thereafter, and that was the beginning of my ascent into the marvelous world of BDSM. I started attending munches, going to the sex club on fetish night, meeting people, talking, playing, and reading anything I could get my hands on. I was hooked.

Fast forward several years. I’m living in Paris, very involved in the kink scene, going to play parties weekly, have several regular play partners (and lots of occasional ones). I was perusing a kinky dating website and I meet a foot fetishist. We went back and forth over the next couple of weeks, but could never find a time to meet. One day, he sent me a message asking if I was free and I responded in the affirmative. “How much is it ?” he asks. Huh ? I wasn’t expecting that. At all! I just wanted the little pervert to come over and lick my feet for a while, maybe my pussy if things went well. I quickly text my then-girlfriend (who was and still is a sex worker) asking what I should charge. He comes over, sniffs my feet for a while, throws some money on the table, and leaves. Fucking awesome! I just made a couple hundred euro for doing something that I love.

I began talking to my friends, apprehensive about going pro ‘for real.’ Getting a little money here and there is one thing, seeing yourself as a sex worker is another entirely. Plus, coming from the US, I had socially-ingrained biases about sex work. Although I have always advocated for women using their power/prowess to do what they want with their bodies, doing it myself was another story. I went back and forth for months. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It’s incredibly empowering to be paid for giving pleasure, not to mention for doing what you love. I decided to take the plunge.

It was difficult to begin with. I had a lot of time-wasters, people that just wanted to talk to a ‘real Domme’ (whatever that means), lots of no-shows. But I loved what I was doing and, being stubborn as I am, I kept on. I was fortunate to have people that I could be open with about my decision. They supported me and gave me advice, encouraged me to carve a path for myself as a Professional Dominatrix, and are still by my side today. I’ve learned a lot about myself, about the difference between being a lifestyle player and a Pro Domme, about sexuality and perversions (I never use that word in a negative sense), about power exchange and letting go, and certainly about how to manage a business. It’s a challenging  but an incredibly rewarding experience.

It’s been a little over two years since I first placed an ad on a website as a Pro Domme. I don’t think I’ll ever take it down.

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