The story begins like this: <\/p>\n\n\n\n
For several weeks now, I've been combing the site from top to bottom, amazed day after day by the author's writing. So I decided... I opened the questionnaire and answered sincerely... and then I closed it... I opened it again the next day... when a battle ensued between myself and myself! \" - Oh no, that's not necessary... What are you doing here, Justine? - I like spanking, I'm not sure I like... all of it! - Then why are you here? - Because I think I'm a masochist! - yes! - but maybe not...- you're in heaven with your buttocks full of bruises for a week and you doubt it?! yes but on the buttocks okay, but look at all she's offering... it's certainly not my thing... it's too different! - so why are you so excited right now? - Hum..roh shut up!.- The shibari, 3 months ago it wasn't spanking eh...- but you're going to shut up yes! And remember how fascinated you were by ...But STOP! I've made up my mind! I won't write to him\", <\/em>and that's how the following day's message appeared on my screen: \"Thank you for filling in this form\". <\/p>\n\n\n\n That morning, I took advantage of a discussion with my best friend about his sex life to talk to him about what was on my mind and my doubts. His response: \"Do it! And then tell me how she took you apart\". I laugh...that's why he's my best friend! He loves to hear me suffer... then he says: \"Justine! You're dying for it! You're just scared! And that's enough! So here I am, for the umpteenth time, clicking on the link... except this time I copy and paste what I've already written, I clarify, I send and I tell myself it's not going to happen so I don't have to wait too long. 5 days later, I'm getting ready for a visio with Madame. I'm as stressed as if I were taking an exam when I click on the visio link, and I try to reassure myself by reminding myself that I've passed all those bloody exams back then, and what's more, that's not even the case. I'm not really comfortable on video! I'm cut off from my feelings by the screen and it disturbs me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Let's skip the start-up with a computer glitch that tends to stress me out even more; here I am in front of Madame, chatting absolutely normally! I'm reassured because I'd have hated it if we hadn't, I'm not in bottom mode at all here, I'm just me and stressed...She explains her ground rules to me. I conclude by saying that I love anything that causes pain because well... I'm a masochist it seems <\/em>! For the first time, I see a hint of sadism in the eyes of the person in front of me, which I really like! She says: youpiii! in a tone of humor and tells me: \"I like hurting people!\"... \"well, those who really like it!\" at that very moment I say to myself: \"you should have kept your mouth shut! <\/em>\"We say goodbye and see you in 2 weeks. She sends me a summary e-mail with a reminder of the safewords, and adds that she prefers me to communicate if I can speak, like this: \"Madame, patati patata\" I read, I know I'll have to respect this protocol... But I know it's going to be complicated; I'm not a real submissive... well yes... when I'm completely drugged by endorphins, but before... well not really, I get lost in my thoughts and forget. All the same, I'm reassured that she doesn't like being called Mistress; I find the word unpleasant to the ear and I must say, the idea of calling someone Master or Mistress seems strange to me. I can devote endless respect to someone without using this word, which doesn't really evoke respect for me either! Madame sounds so much nicer... but you still have to automate it, it's easier to say! <\/p>\n\n\n\n Then my best friend asks me what I think: \"She's very nice, but I think she's a total sadist and I'm screwed!\" I say, reassured, excited, scared and amused all at the same time. 2 weeks is a long time to wait.... I went back to reading the testimonials on the site, then wrote to my friend: \"I'm completely fooled! Why did I listen to you again!...\" (...) \"I'm going to say the 'black' safeword as soon as she starts hurting me and the session will stop right there! She'll kick me out for lying to her when she finds out I'm not a masochist at all! The irrationality of anxiety will always surprise me! He tells me, \"How much do we bet you won't even say 'red' once, and that Orange is really if she pushes you hard!\" Pfff he overestimates me, he gets on my nerves always seeing me as strong! he's never seen me in tears after an hour of intense spanking, that must be why! <\/em>I talk about it to a friend of mine who has already knocked me down several times, who knows me and knows the role of domina well! Her response: \"You won't say it Justine! Only if you really feel bad! You're a masochist!\" Hm... I doubt it; but she knows me: I asked her to punish me as severely as she could when I needed it. She'd know if I wasn't up to it! <\/p>\n\n\n\n Come on, Justine! Stop freaking out! Or don't stop, I don't know... because deep down you kind of like this fear!? Of course !!!! <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n D-Day: I wake up strangely calm, so calm that I panic at being calm when I should be in a state of imminent death... oops, I spoke too soon! Here I am, standing in front of the door of his 20th-century building, completely panicked! I turn my head and there's a tag on the wall to my left that says \"Hell! I burst out laughing... Last stressful humorous message to my 2 friends who knew about it but to whom I'd kept the secret of the person I was going, one because it didn't matter to him out of ignorance and the other because it mattered too much out of knowledge: \"Well, if I see light at the end of the tunnel, I promise I won't go! But when in doubt, delighted to have met you! And if you don't hear from me, I'm sure my remains will be in the 20th arrondissement\" (nice way of telling them who I went to see without telling them!). I call Madame to give me the code and climb the stairs with an intense lump of anxiety in my stomach. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I climb the stairs, which are an ordeal in themselves, and remind myself that I absolutely must get back into exercise! My heart rate was already too high because of the stress before I arrived, but when you add sport to the mix, it gets much too high! I hear his door open. No more jokes, this time I'm really there. Then she shows me the bathroom door and tells me to knock when I'm ready. I say: okay! - Not okay... yes, ma'am! We're off to a good start!\" It was said politely, both from me and from him, but... I close the door and say to myself amusedly: but what a cardboard submissive I am! <\/em>I knew it!\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here I am, alone in the bathroom. I'm already clean, having obviously washed before coming, so it doesn't take me long to wash off the miasma of the Paris metro. I pick up the toothbrush and can't find the toothpaste. I'm so stressed, my brain loses all reason, I grab the first tube in front of me: Vaseline! I laugh to myself, at least my nonsense relaxes me a little! I finally find it...Come on Justine, we've got to go! I make the sign of the cross before getting down on my knees and knocking! I smile, it's amazing how when I'm scared I become Catholic again, and making the sign of the cross before what I'm about to do looks like blasphemy, but never mind, it reassures me and gives me strength! I count to 3 and knock on the door! <\/p>\n\n\n\n Madame enters and squats in front of me, she tells me the areas where I can touch her, my mind tells me: yes, but you won't! <\/em>I need to lose control. The gestures are gentle, but I'm still tense, so I quickly close my eyes, which helps me relax and focus on my body. She puts a necklace on me - it's the first time I've ever worn one! Well, yes, I don't belong to anyone, and deep down I can play the submissive or become one when I enter subspace, but not naturally. The truth is... I'm much more Little in context than Submissive, the spanking world that shaped me! She tells me to follow her into her dungeon, and my curiosity gets the better of me! \"Hey, you're curious!\" She grabs me and twists my breasts, but it doesn't hurt at all, it relaxes me. First slap! I feel like smiling! Don't! Don't show him you like it! Not yet! <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n She asks me to put my back on the cage! She's tying me down and depriving me of my senses! I feel much better than I did before I arrived, and we haven't even started yet. I really like the mix of tenderness, slap, tickle and pinch. Well, I like it a lot...not sure... <\/p>\n\n\n\n \"You reek of excitement!\" I smile! She's starting to work on my tits! Ouch she intensifies, I feel clamps all over my body! on some areas I feel nothing, except a tingling sensation on others the clamp hurts! She looks like she's having fun. And you, Justine? Yes, I must admit! <\/em>Her sadistic little phrases make me smile. I love Madame's sense of humour: I'm very... too ticklish! \"Ahahah ouille ahahahah ouille! Actually, it's .... Hmmmm ouuuuhhh hmmmm ( yes because I've got a lump in my mouth!) \" ah look it's not the same moans when it hurts \" of course not! <\/em>This moment, though painful, is very complicit, even though I'm blindfolded and tied up. I'm almost surprised that I really liked it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n After a long moment, during which my breasts have had their fill of pinching and pain, Madame releases me. I find myself tied to the cross with a hood over my head, and Madame begins the slamming on my buttocks and back. I forgot to say \"yes Madame\" again while she was tying me up. Inwardly I curse myself, I knew it would be a hassle. Even at school I didn't say: \"Yes Mistress\" or \"Yes Ma'am\"! \"Fuck! You've got to do it all over again, it's not possible!\" oops...<\/em>My mind wanders as she plays on my back, hips and buttocks and I gradually feel the little Brats inside me making an appearance: it's all very nice, but I don't feel much! <\/em>As for everywhere else on the body, I'm a novice! But not at all at this level... I'm fighting a bit with myself: say something! - No, shut up! She'll give herself up and speed up and intensify for sure... <\/em>except that... the little strokes of the ruler that follow make me think that maybe not! Well, Justine, it's time to provoke! Yes, but how? I value my life, don't I? Well, provoke now... but nicely! <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \"You don't seem to mind! Shall I go straight to the whip?\" <\/p>\n\n\n\n Isn't that supposed to scare me rather than envy me? <\/em>I'm nodding my head yes! <\/p>\n\n\n\n \"You've got to heat it up...\"; \"yes bah you can heat it up more, please!\" Wait, did you really just say that? I told you nicely! Oops... <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Message received she melts on me and twists my breast and hits harder yes... but the breasts! You played... you lost! <\/em>\ud83e\udd2d ouch; <\/em>She's changed her tune, which I like! She leaves the room and comes back with a paddle, I like it too much! She doesn't seem to like it! Express untying: slap session, and pain in the nipples. She takes me back! I like it! Or not... I like it whether I like it or not... <\/p>\n\n\n\n \"Go stand over there!\" Oh boy, I'm in for a treat! <\/em>I find myself tied to her cage with my hands outstretched.... By the time she lifts my left foot to tie him up, I've already figured it out! And I think: I'm finished! <\/em>because the pain on my feet! I know I can't <\/p>\n\n\n\n I didn't put up with it for very long, I only tried it once and then a couple more times to test it out and I remember very well that the little resistor in me was no longer resistant to it on my feet! I say to myself: well...don't panic, it depends what she's having! <\/em>Reassure yourself as best you can! <\/p>\n\n\n\n \"I'll get my badine!\" <\/p>\n\n\n\n Oh boy !!!! Why the badine! A riding crop is good too... help ! Help! Shut up Justine, enough drama!<\/em>. It's worth noting, though, that for a long time I was afraid of badines for purely psychological, not physiological, reasons. In my mind, getting hit with a stick was the definition of a punishment! <\/p>\n\n\n\n First strike on the buttocks: why doesn't she attack the foot? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Second tap on the foot: aaaaaah! <\/p>\n\n\n\n \"Yes it's not for your ass!\" Yes, I thought so! <\/em>\ud83e\udd79 you've learned to manage on your butt, but not anywhere else! She's having a bit of fun. I scream... <\/p>\n\n\n\n \"How old are you? 32, right? Yes, ma'am!\" \"Well, that'll be 32 strokes...\" <\/p>\n\n\n\n I'm laughing! I have to laugh! I'm laughing even though I've already had 4-5 strokes and I want to scream! It turns out that I'm sadistic too! Not just masochistic! The problem is that she's exercising her sadism on me! I count and everything in my mind screams: red <\/em>! Absolutely everything! But there's also a little voice in my head that cries out: \" Not at all, my dear! Assume!\" <\/em>Is it too much? Do you have to say it? My foot says yes! My brain says no! And my brain wins! It almost always wins... <\/p>\n\n\n\n Arrival at 16... <\/p>\n\n\n\n \"good news: we're halfway there, bad news: I'm going to hit it harder!\" <\/p>\n\n\n\n My brain thinks: okay, let her do it, see and say orange if it's too much! Maybe she's reading my mind or just used to it. Madame asks me: \"What's your pain level right now out of 10? 10 !! Tell him 10! <\/em>My brain says: n\u00e9 l'don't listen, says 7 <\/em>! I compromise and say 8. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Okay then, I won't type any louder! Halleiujah <\/em>! I want to say thank you, but it won't come out of my mouth\". thank you while she's kicking you, you're crazy my beautiful! <\/em>\"Aie aie aie! 3 strokes at once... \" oh I was too quick; you didn't have time to count, it doesn't count! \" I'm hesitating between hating it and adoring it, it's so funny! Let's go back to 18! I'll consider that the 3 are worth 1... she says nothing, we carry on. To 32. I gasp. \"Bad news: we're doing the same thing on the second foot! Don't say anything Justine! Don't react! <\/em>But first I'm going to get something to relieve you! Oh I don't feel his relief at all...<\/em>She comes back with a prickly cushion and puts it under my foot! As long as she doesn't order me to stick my foot in, I don't! If she hasn't asked, it's not disobedience? oops... she's asking! <\/em>\"Get up and stand on it! We're not doing the second foot!\" In my head I've got the two crazies facing off: The masochistic Justine who says Oh really? And why not the second foot, he's jealous! <\/em>And the tiny Justine who thanks her... but they are quickly chased away by the pain in my left foot and my obvious lack of balance! Maybe I should have mentioned in the questionnaire that I'm clumsy! <\/em>But then if you add subspace; I'm a total klutz \ud83e\udd23 I almost fall over backwards and we both laugh about it because I was in pain and my body flipped right over, when she asked me to be haphazard. I get picked on because I'm holding the cage. To be really honest, there was no trickery on my part, I wasn't really holding on to cheat, I was holding on because I knew full well I was going to fall! She laughed at me, and asked me to hold on for 3 seconds with the help of the cage, without cheating! I do so, cursing the inventor of this so-called massage cushion, and saying to myself: in the end, I preferred the strokes of the badine to this gizmo! I'm liberated: she says to me, \"When I say 3 seconds, I really mean 3 seconds! Not 4 or 5, you have to trust me\". That's not the problem. The confidence I gave you when I stepped into the dungeon, it was in myself that I lacked confidence! <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n As proof of this confidence, 10 seconds later, Madame takes out a cellophane to mummify me and says: \"we start with the head\" and wraps the cellophane around my head to suffocate me and I don't move a muscle; I know she won't do it and I like letting her scare me... she takes it off all happy. I'm then properly sausaged in this cellophane, harnesses and chains on me and OMG I feel great! I'm lying on the floor, cut off from the world... and off I go... I feel like I'm floating in a stream on a little cloud... I'm about to fall asleep... I think I'm in hypnosis now... I can barely hear her, she touches me at times, but nothing can get me out of the cloud... I can't say how long it lasted, but I felt so good, outside space and time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n She frees me from the cellophane, but not without trying to scare me and hurt me a little. She gently tells me to take my time getting up and getting out of the room, and to shower again if I need to, while she goes off to wash her hands. She leaves the room, I pull myself off the floor, stand up slowly, look around the room, I'm all alone and BADABOUM, a wave of emotions washes over me! Oh, I didn't see that one coming! <\/em>I start to cry softly... I tell myself I'll manage to calm down on my own before going out, I turn around and.... Madame enters the room again: \"Would you like a hug?\" \"Yes! Yes! I start to cry a little in her arms. We relax, I feel so good and at the same time I want to let go of everything but I can't, I don't know her well enough yet and it's already huge that I've managed to let go of this from the first meeting. The cocoon has a lot to do with it! And the dose of release hormone had nothing to do with it either, but normally on a first date I cry at home in bed or in the elevator when there's one, even if the emotions have been strong, I hold it in. Not in this case, that's a very good indication! The way she reacts too! She brings me a warm blanket and the two of us sit on the floor chatting a bit about the session. I'm somewhere else and she's all nice. How can all this sadism be present in a surprisingly sweet and gentle woman? Well look at you Justine! Yes, all right. <\/em>! Sweet and gentle but still telling me she can be very sadistic: I love it! Flashback to my moment of provocation: \"you provoked me, don't you agree?\" - (...) \"I like brats as long as they're respectful and have limits! <\/p>\n\n\n\n I'm a brat sometimes when I'm comfortable enough with someone, but all I have to do is raise my voice and I stop. I like mild provocation, it tickles the other person and I like to be scared of it, but in reality, I stop as soon as I'm scared, and it's very easy to scare me, sometimes all it takes is a look. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Compliments are pouring in from him, but unfortunately I don't have the words to express mine. I wish I could say something other than thank you. But I'm too out of it. So I'm going to do it now. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Madam, I'm very grateful to you for agreeing to see me, and for taking the time to reassure me throughout the session. I very much appreciated the emotional balance you managed to bring to the whole experience: I oscillated with you in a quarter of a second between a flurry of converging and contradictory emotions that seem to me to be far more important than anything else. I wrote that the psychological aspect seems to me to be more important than the practical! You asked me what I liked at the end of the session: I told you on the spot the final cellophane,... afterwards, I'd answer: I liked fear, laughter, pain, humor, sadism, tenderness and liberation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Once I'm dressed again, Madame and I are chatting (well, she's chatting with the part of my brain that's still plugged in...), I'm high... high high high! It's amazing, I know this sensation perfectly well, but it's usually accompanied by a burning sensation on my bottom. I really doubted I could feel this good without it, but I've just been proven wrong. Did I miss it? Of course I did, because it's still 99% of me, I've grown out of it, but was it fun all the same? Totally! I let him know that I'd answered the question I'd been asking myself: \"Are you a masochist? Yes...and you take pain well\". And yet my body was in the most sensitive period of the month (in fact, it decided to trigger my period the next day, so it must have thought: ah ok, you're hurting me, whereas I'd planned to hurt you a bit more for 3-4 days, but stop, I've had enough! That's enough now! Take this!) I leave Madame with the certainty that I'll be back, and probably sooner than I'd planned...once the roses are once again more abundant under my mattress. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But above all, I leave the building in a little cloud that will last me until bedtime! <\/p>\n\n\n\n I head for the metro, but even shot up, I reassure my friends who still received a farewell message from the panicked girl I'd been 2 hours before. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \"I'm alive! I'll call you when I can!\" <\/p>\n\n\n\n Response from individual friend number 1: \"You call me when you can, does that mean when you've healed from your wounds for not being able to call her Madam?\" <\/p>\n\n\n\n \ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23 Well, he knows me by heart! <\/p>\n\n\n\n Response from individual number 2: \"You were at Inanna Justice! Thanks for reassuring me that you were in the 20th! I said to myself: ok Justine, you're crazy, but at least you're with a real pro! <\/p>\n\n\n\n And she's worried about me! <\/p>\n\n\n\n The rest of the day on a cloud, the next day full of energy! I've never felt so good on the day of my period! Nothing could get to me... and since then my mind has been wandering from one memory and emotional flash to another... I feel that this story has only just begun... so thank you Madame! <\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":10212,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false},"class_list":["post-10211","temoignages","type-temoignages","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/inannajustice.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/temoignages\/10211","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/inannajustice.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/temoignages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/inannajustice.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/temoignages"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inannajustice.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inannajustice.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10211"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inannajustice.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10212"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/inannajustice.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10211"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}