My Favorite Clients
People regularly comment on the photographs that I post on Twitter saying things like “Lucky guy,” or “I would do anything to be in his place.” I would like to break this down a little for you today and tell you how you can become one of my favorite clients. It’s probably much easier than you think.
I should preface by saying that there is no such thing as a lucky sub. The boys that make up my stable have proven themselves to be dedicated, motivated, loyal, generous, and above all, patient. As a professional and lifestyle Dominatrix, you can imagine that I am quite solicited by lots of people who want to enter into a long-term relationship with me.
Do you want to be one of the special few that I write or call when I have free time? Do you want to stand out from the crowd? Here are some tips on things to avoid and things that will get you noticed in a positive way.
When you are first contacting me, one way to stand out is to show that you have read my website thoroughly. Mention a couple of things that stood out to you. Demonstrate that you have invested a bit of time into your research before contacting me. I always say that I’m not a “fast food Dominatrix,” and I don’t want “value meal” submissives!
Fill out my questionnaire thoughtfully and precisely. I worked hard to design it so that it helps guide even the most novice of submissives. It’s not very long but I need honest and complete answers to be able to create and guide a wonderful experience for both of us.
Take Care of Yourself First
Many submissives will neglect their own needs thinking that they are doing their Domme a favor. This is not true! In order to better serve me, you need to first and foremost take care of your own needs: mental, physical, and emotional. By taking time for yourself, you become stronger and wiser and will therefore be able to make positive contributions to my life.
Of course, I do expect you to make sacrifices for me, but I believe that I do this in a healthy and sane way. I genuinely want you to flourish so that you can be the best for me!
Communicate regularly, but understand boundaries
I love getting emails and text messages saying that you’re thinking of me, but sometimes it gets to be too much. Take into consideration that I have my friends in the US as well as in France that are contacting me, my business emails to schedule sessions or photo shoots, the articles that I write, my posts on social media… That alone makes for a lot of screen time! Then add 20 people that send me messages regularly just to “see how I’m doing.”
I am generally pretty good about responding fairly quickly to emails and text messages, but it may not be within five minutes, or even five hours. Aside from all of you lovely creatures, I also have a very rich social life. Even my best friends don’t hear from me for days at a time, but they understand that I’m busy and don’t take it personally when I don’t get back to them immediately.
I hate the phone, so requesting phone calls is tiring for me. Even my best friend in the world gets about 10 minutes a month on the phone with me. If I want to speak on the phone, I’ll let you know. I also have the memory of a goldfish, and often forget what we’ve said on the phone, yet another reason to not request a call. If it’s for session details, please, please, PLEASE send me an email. It’s not because I’m not listening, it’s simply because I may forget if I don’t have it in front of my eyes.
I have a strong presence on social media, and if you want to see what’s new and exciting in my life, Twitter is a great way to do so! Plus, you’ll get to see what delicious things I’m eating, what fun projects that I have planned, and much more.
One easy way to get noticed is to share content on social media. It helps build a bigger following, which of course can potentially bring new clients, but it also helps me get recognized by other Dommes internationally and get invited to events. As many of you know, I organize lots of events in Paris, and the more the word spreads, the more motivated I am to continue hosting and organizing.
There are websites where you can post reviews about your favorite sex workers. If you are part of these communities, a good review can do wonders for me. Don’t hesitate to write a kind word on these forums.
Share Your Skills
Do you have a skill that could benefit me? One sub re-did my website a couple of years ago (and continues to help me with updates). Another one is building custom-made equipment for my space. One recently offered a photo shoot. Others help me by translating my articles. Some make art. All of these people contribute positively to my life without spending a dime.
Whether you are a doctor, a lawyer, a chef, a geek, a plumber or you just like spending your time going to bookstores, I could probably use your help at one time or another. What skills do you have that might help me? Is there something that you can do that will free up some of my time? I’m sure many of you have ways to contribute to my well-being without spending money to session, it’s just a matter of getting creative and asking if you can help.
Respect My Time
I am self-employed, which means that every minute is an opportunity for me to make money. Be on time for your appointment with me, just as you would with any other professional. If you’re running late, let me know. If something comes up, tell me earlier rather than later.
As you all know, we always have a drink after a session. This is a great time for us to catch up and chit chat about everything and nothing. It’s always a pleasure to spend these few moments with each of you fabulous individuals, but please don’t abuse this privilege.
Most Dommes don’t offer this social time without pay, but that’s not my style. That said, please be aware that I probably have dinner planned, an exhibit to go see, a project to work on, or I just simply want to lounge around after our lovely session. Don’t overstay your welcome.
Gifts Don’t Pay Bills
I love when you bring me presents, especially when they are food and wine! But you know what’s even better than a great bottle of Champagne or olive oil? Not having to worry about paying my bills.
I have one young sub that sends 5€ every week. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not a lot, but it shows how much he appreciates me. It doesn’t have to be big bucks to show your support. Those weekly or monthly contributions are what can make the difference between a client that I like to play with and one that goes on the favorites list.
Encouraging your Domme means supporting her financially even when sessions aren’t possible, showing your appreciate all the work she does.
If you’re not comfortable sending money, buy me an experience instead of a new pair of shoes. Send me to the spa for a massage, a gift certificate for a nice restaurant, tickets for the theater. Those memories will last a lifetime, but those shoes will probably be sitting in the closet unnoticed most of the time.
Don’t Feel Left Out
Part of the reason that makes Dommes so charming is that you see that we are involved in all sorts of interesting projects, right? Well, it takes a lot of time, effort, and energy to do these things, and for most of us, being active in the BDSM community is a priority (for both personal and professional reasons).
What that means is that we may choose going to a party where we are going to see a lot of friends instead of spending an evening with you. This is difficult for many subs to understand, and can provoke feelings of jealousy or of being left out. It is nothing against you. We may even be talking about you while we’re out and about (in a good way).
If we have an ongoing relationship, even if that means we only see each other a few times a year, please don’t disappear. I think of you all regularly and with great fondness, and sincerely get worried when someone ghosts me.
I understand that things change. Maybe you find another Domme, maybe you have family problems, maybe you simply move on and no longer want to partake in BDSM. All of that is totally understandable and I won’t take it personally! But being ghosted is painful, even for a strong woman like myself.
If your life circumstances change, communicate that to me. Write me a little email saying that you have moved on but that you appreciated the time we spent together. I will keep you fondly in my heart, and if you ever do decide to rekindle a relationship, I will (likely) gladly accept.
Becoming a favorite client is not about what practices you like or if you come and see me every week. It’s about your devotion and dedication to helping me lead a richer, more fulfilling life. Take good care of yourself, use common sense, be available, be respectful and maybe I’ll put you on my “favorite clients” list.
Stay safe, stay healthy, and stay kinky.
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